


for better or for worse (til death do us part)

by BeStillMySlashyHeart, reachedthebitterend



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, M/M, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart, https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachedthebitterend/pseuds/reachedthebitterend
Summary: Alex comes back to Roswell and finally meets Maria's boyfriend he's heard so much about. The problem? He's also Alex's husband.
Relationships: Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 12
Kudos: 288
Collections: Roswell New Mexico ▶ Michael Guerin / Alex Manes





	for better or for worse (til death do us part)

It's the middle of the last rush before service at the bar slows down enough that she can get started going through the motions of closing down when a familiar figure walks in through the door, leaning heavily on an unfamiliar crutch.

Maria had heard, from Michael, who told her he heard it from Isobel, about what had happened, but she hadn't even known that Alex was back in town.

She smiles wide and bright as he walks up to her, a small smile on his lips.

He casts a gaze around the room like he's looking for something, before his gaze settles back on her.

"Hey stranger," she says and sets down the tray of drinks she was just about to take to one of the booths and pulls him into a quick hug. "I wasn't expecting to see you here!"

Alex shrugs a little looking around again, "Yeah, this isn't really my usual scene."

Maria snorts, "I bet. Not enough chains and collars for your tastes."

Alex pushes her back a little and she smiles happily at him. She opens her mouth to ask him what he wants to drink, when she spots Michael behind his shoulder and excitedly waves him over.

"I'm so glad you're here though," she says as Michael slowly makes his way over. 

"We always met up out of town and the boyfriend for some reason hates going across the state line, but here, you remember Michael, right? He went to high school with us!"

Maria's smile falters slightly at the look on Alex's face, but it's only there briefly as he turns to Michael.

"Yeah, I do, remember, Guerin," he says a strange tone to his voice. "Long time no see."

Michael doesn't say a word, and Maria turns to face him, but he just taps the brim of his hat in greeting and then turns to her, a strange look on his face that she can't seem to read.

"I have to go get the extras from the back," he says, not bothering to say _ which _ extras or wait for an actual answer before he moves and disappears into the crowd.

She watches him go thinking that his behavior is really strange, but turns back to Alex who turns to her at the same time.

"I know, I know," she says before he can say anything. "Michael's reputation was less than stellar in high school and it hasn't really gotten any better, but he's not really a bad guy. He just pretends to be."

Alex gives her a look like he can't believe the words that are coming out of her mouth, but before she can say anything else, she gets a call for service and rolls her eyes picking the tray up again. 

"Just hang tight for a second and I'll get you a beer," she tells him smiling.

Alex smiles back at her, and nods his head, she turns towards the booth and then back to him to say something that she forgets the second she looks back at him and sees the look on his face as he stares at something she can't make out on the other side of the bar. Quietly devastating and painful enough that she feels it like a punch to the stomach.

It's only for a second before his face clears completely, and he turns and sits down at one of the stools at the bar.

She makes a note to talk to him about what's bothering him, and goes to serve the drinks.

She gets busy again and barely has time to drop a beer in front of Alex before she's taking more orders.

She finally manages to get a second and pours out two shots when she notices that Alex hasn't touched his beer.

Alex takes the shot of tequila and taps his glass to hers and they take their shots almost in unison.

Maria stares at him as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, making a face at the taste of the tequila and hums thoughtfully.

"What?" Alex asks, tilting his head at her.

"Nothing," she says. "You feel preoccupied. I'm sure whatever it is you're dreading is going to turn out just fine."

Alex gives her a look like he highly doubts that and looks away, lifting the beer to his mouth, only to freeze slightly and lower it back down.

Maria tracks his gaze and finds Michael very obviously hustling a pair of tourists that had managed to sneak inside during the first rush of the night and had given her a very large tip when she'd topped off their drinks.

Maria just shakes her head, and Alex turns back towards her, and seems to jump a little when he notices that she's watching him.

"I don't know if he was one of the kids who used to tease you in high school, but you've got to believe me when I say he's not the same guy that he was before, and I would like it if my two best guys would get along."

She smiles at him, and doesn't think much of it when he looks down to the beer and starts playing with the label.

"Especially," she starts deciding to tell him something she hasn't told anyone in the hope that it would take his mind off whatever is making him so sad and thoughtful. "Because I caught him messing around with a ring box a few days ago, I think he's going to propose."

Which is still something that she's iffy about since they haven't really talked about marriage at all. The thought sends a sort of sickly feeling through her, but she doesn't know if it's panic or the anticipation, waiting for him to pop the question.

The full bottle of beer in front of Alex tips over and spills across the bar. 

Alex apologizes immediately, but Maria waves him off and goes to get a rag to clean it up. By the time she gets back to the same spot, Alex is gone.

Maria frowns looking around and she spots him walking out of the door. She's debating whether to follow him or not when she sees Michael also heading out without even a glance back towards the bar.

Curiosity gets the better of her immediately and she asks one of the newbies to wipe down the counter as she ducks out from behind the bar and walks to the exit.

She makes sure to not make too much noise, but she shouldn't have bothered.

Alex had managed to get far enough that they were all the way on the other side of the parking lot.

Michael pulls him around like he's been talking to him, and Alex turns around with an antagonistic look on his face that Maria hasn't seen since they were in high school and the bullies were at their worst.

He spits something out that makes Michael let him go and take a semi step back, but he stays put and speaks in a low voice that Maria can't hear, but she can tell by the way that he's moving that he's being pushy and defensive.

They're both on the defensive from what Maria can see, and their words are too low to catch but Maria gets the sense that something happened ten years ago, something not very good.

She also notes almost absently that while they seem to be arguing, they also seem to be leaning into each other, almost like they're both magnets too close to each other's magnetic force.

"Fuck you," Alex says, voice clear and gut wrenching and she sees him throw something small, and glinting in the streetlight at Michael, who catches it against his chest.

Michael looks down at whatever it is, but by the time he looks back to Alex, Alex is getting into his car.

"Alex," Michael yells, sounding frustrated, but Alex just turns the car on and drives out of the parking lot, before Michael can even take a step towards his car.

Maria stares at the backlights of Alex's car and notes that he's heading towards the road that leads out of Roswell.

She stares until his car disappears from view and then searches for Michael and finds him walking towards her, fists jammed into his pocket, shoulders hiked up all the way to his ears, a forlorn expression on his face.

"What was all that about?" She asks, and he startles like he hadn't noticed her there.

He just shakes his head and gives her the same look he used to give her every time he would abandon her to go spend time with the Evans' twins until he confessed that they were in the same group home together and had a bond that was difficult to explain.

"Nothing you need to worry about," he says, a complete lie, and moves in close to press a kiss right to her temple before he continues to walk inside.

Maria watches him go, and then turns back to where she saw Alex disappear.

She's debating what to do when Joel appears at the door, "We need your help with Long."

She just sighs in exaggeration and walks in after him, deciding to call Alex in the morning.

-

Michael walks out of the Airstream after changing his shirt since Isobel will kill him if he shows up at the reunion in the same clothes that he's been wearing the last two days, but a shirt change is all that he could manage since all of his good jeans are in a folded pile in his side of the closet in Maria's apartment, but he hasn't slept there since Alex crashed back into his life with all of the subtlety of a freight train, and threw his ring in Michael's face, and he doesn't think that Maria will take it lightly if he tells her that he's just there for his jeans.

Michael's phone vibrates in his pocket and he sighs before he tugs it out. 

Maria's name flashes across his screen, and he ignores the call and puts the phone back into his pocket.

Michael just doesn't know what to tell her about why he's acting so strange. He doesn't know how to say that while her apartment had been safe and warm, it was never  _ home _ . He doesn't know how to explain that he didn't have a name for the feeling that had been slowly eating away at him since she had asked him to move in and he had told her yes, until it had slammed right into the pit of his stomach when he looked into Alex's wide and startled eyes as Maria called him her boyfriend.  _ Guilt _ .

There are so many secrets that he's keeping from her, but most of those aren't just his secrets, but he knows that this secret was one that he should've told her when they started dating.

But how does anyone tell someone that they're married, technically separated and not divorced because they don't have an address to send divorce papers to? Especially when the person that they're married to is someone that they know as well.

When things between him and Maria had started getting serious and she had started speaking to him about her life, he realized that Alex managed to keep in touch with her, but hadn't bothered to do the same with Michael.

Michael had taken that as more than enough reason to move on, and if he was being honest with himself, a small part of him had hoped that Maria would tell Alex that they were dating and he would show up demanding explanations.

But that never happened, and then Michael started to fall in love with Maria and it had taken him by surprise because to him love was burning fire red with periods of calm and peaceful blue, and being with Maria wasn't anything like that.

Being in love with Maria felt just like how being inside of her apartment felt like, safe and warm. 

But it had taken just one look at Alex to realize that his feelings for Alex hadn't faded away beneath his feelings for Maria, like he had thought, they had somehow managed to become more intense.

Michael feels more than a little confused, and he can't seem to figure out how to put what he's feeling into actual words that won't break Maria's heart, so he's been sleeping at the Airstream and telling her that he's just been really busy. Which isn't a lie per se.

Michael's phone rings again startling him out of his thoughts and he inhales deeply before he pulls the phone out of his pocket.

It's not Maria, but it is his second biggest problem, Max.

Michael doesn't begrudge Max wanting to tell the person that he loves the truth about himself, since Michael hadn't been able to take the marriage step with Alex until he had told him the whole truth.

But Liz is the last person that should know the truth about them, especially with the fact that they covered up her sister's murder.

Max had been adamant when Isobel had gotten married that Noah should never know the truth, and he had told Michael that Maria with the way her family was tied to the Valenti's could never know the truth as well.

Michael hadn't fought that too hard since he's at least seventy-five percent sure that part of the reason that Alex had run away after they signed the dotted line was because he couldn't handle the truth about Michael's heritage.

He ignores that call too, and just gets into his truck.

Michael had been planning on not going to the reunion since it seemed like the kind of event a former outcast would go to just to see how much everyone else has stayed exactly the same.

But Isobel had said that they needed to talk, and the reunion was the only place where that was happening since she needed to oversee things and make sure that everything ran smoothly.

Isobel prided herself on throwing events that were nothing short of amazing and fantastic and entertaining, and would be the talk of the town for at least the next week, but in order for that to happen, she had to make sure that everything ran the way that it was supposed to.

Michael gets to the venue earlier than expected, and he’s getting out of his truck, when he turns and Maria is standing in front of him with her arms crossed.

“Hey, babe,” he starts, dialing up the charm, but she just pushes him back a little.

“Don’t ‘hey babe’ me,” she says. “Not when you’ve been avoiding me so much that you refuse to sleep at home.”

Michael feels the guilt hit him in the stomach, making him feel slightly like he’s nauseous.

“I’m sorry,” he says as sincerely as he can, but Maria shakes her head.

“I don’t want an apology either,” she states taking a step towards him. “I want an explanation.”

Michael swallows hard and scrambles for something to say.

“Because you’ve only been acting like this since the night that Alex came to the bar, and the only thing that I can think of is that you were one of those assholes who used to bully him about being gay-”

“No,” Michael says immediately, adamant, and it stops Maria in her tracks, and she gives him a slightly surprised look. “I never bullied him, okay? It’s not about that.”

“Then what is it about?” she demands sounding frustrated. “Because I thought that this whole thing you do when you try to keep secrets from me was something that was in the past. I thought that we were past this and that we would work things out together, but if you’re going to be avoiding me and keeping secrets then-”

“I’m sorry,” he says again, and she glares at him, but doesn’t try to pick up from where she left off. She just crosses her arms again and looks at him expectantly. “I know that I’ve been acting weird, but it has nothing to do with you, okay? There’s just some stuff that I need to figure out, and once I do, you’ll be the first person to know.”

Maria just continues to stare at him. “That really doesn’t tell me anything you know?”

Before Michael can answer, Isobel’s voice rings out across the parking lot, “I’m not paying you to have domestics with your boyfriend in the parking lot.”

Maria rolls her eyes, gives Michael a look that says,  _ I’m putting up with her bullshit because I love you _ , and then she leaves.

Isobel barely waits for her to go back into the venue before she’s there, standing in the same spot Maria was with her arms crossed.

“What was that about?” she asks. “You haven’t had any actual real arguments since you told her about how we all grew up in the same group home in Santa Fe to cover up for the alien weirdness.”

Michael just shakes his head. “That’s nothing for you to worry about. What you should worry about is what we’re going to have to do if Max tells Liz the truth.”

Isobel just sighs and shakes her head giving him a look. “He’s in love with her.”

Michael already knows this so he just raises an eyebrow at her.

Isobel scoffs, “It’s been ten years. He should’ve moved on. I know he’s had a thing with Cameron over the last couple of years. But he insists that he’s been in love with Liz this whole time.”

Michael just clears his throat. “It’s possible to have conflicted feelings about two people at the same time.”

Isobel rolls her eyes. “That’s not what this is about. This is about the fact that I don’t know if I  _ can  _ do it again.”

Michael shakes his head. “Liz isn’t some dewy eyed schoolgirl. She’s a biochemist with enough brains to take Max apart and figure out what makes him tick.”

Isobel makes a face. “What if she feels the same?”

“Do you think she’ll still feel the same after finding out about what really happened that night?”

Isobel gives him a startled look because they never talk about that night.

She licks her lips and opens her mouth to say something when there is a loud sound coming from inside, and she gets distracted, turning towards the open door.

Michael just sighs. “Go on. We’ll talk when you get another chance.”

She looks back at him a bit unsure, but then turns and heads into the venue.

Michael follows after her more slowly, taking his time, and getting a drink at the bar.

He leans back against the wall, sipping his drink, and just watches the room, finding Isobel talking with one of her employees in a low voice, and then Maria sitting down on one of the folded tables reading someone’s palm, and then his gaze finds Alex, and he freezes, unable to look away as Alex ducks around people, moving fast, and then disappears around the corner.

Michael doesn’t really think about it before he’s following after him.

Alex ducks into a room and Michael slows down until he stops right at the doorway and just leans against it.

“Nostalgia’s a bitch,” he greets. Across the room, Alex tenses as he messes with his prosthetic.

Alex slowly stands up and turns around. “What are you doing here, Guerin?” Michael flinches, unused to Alex calling him by his last name anymore. 

“What are you?” He shot back. “Thought you were never coming back to Roswell. Isn’t that what you said?”

Alex doesn’t reply right away. “I go where the Air Force tells me to,” he finally says.

Michael can’t help but scoff. “Yeah,” he agrees. That was always the problem. “But why would they put you  _ here _ ?” Alex says nothing and Michael just shakes his head. “You couldn’t even call? Tell me you were coming back?”

“I did call,” Alex tells him. “You didn’t answer. But I guess I should have tried Maria, huh?”

Michael takes an actual step back at that. “What do you care?”

“What do I care?” Alex asks incredulously. He laughs, a harsh sound that echoes around the room. “Right.” He nods. “Because coming home to find out my husband’s dating one of my best friends is nothing, right? Shouldn’t bother me at all.”

“Don’t call me that,” Michael argues immediately.

“Why not? It’s what you are.” Alex swallows, his jaw ticking as he clenches it. He’s staring at Michael with an unidentifiable look in his eyes and Michael is suddenly aware that he’s crossed the room and they’re hardly a foot apart. “At least for now. I hear congratulations are in order. You bought Maria a ring?” Michael stares at him in surprise. Alex shrugs. “She saw it. Wanted to share the good news, I guess.” The only ring Michael had was his own, and now Alex’s. The idea of buying one for Maria had never even crossed his mind.

“I have yours,” he admits. He fishes his wallet out of his pocket and shakes it a little until the ring Alex had thrown at him just days before drops into his palm. He drops his wallet carelessly, a part of his mind occupied with keeping it from hitting the ground, and he holds out his hand to Alex. Alex just stares at it.

“What makes you think I want it?” Alex’s voice is hoarse. 

“It’s yours,” Michael repeats. “I shouldn’t have it.”

Alex stares at it for a moment longer before he drags his eyes up to stare at Michael. They stand there in silence, both of them searching for answers in each other’s eyes, answers to what questions Michael doesn’t know, before Alex reaches out and takes his ring back. 

“It’s good to see you,” Michael confesses. The last time they’d spoken had been just after Michael got the call from the Air Force saying he’d been injured in combat. Michael had spent two days paralyzed in his own thoughts, unsure if he would be welcome at Alex’s side or how to explain it to Maria if he went, before Alex called and told him not to bother. He’d gotten the bare bones of Alex’s injury from the man himself and a longer explanation from his doctors but this was the first time he’d seen him since. He looked good. “You look good,” he tells Alex. “How’s your leg?”

Alex’s face shutters and he glances down at his leg like he needs to check. “It’s been an adjustment. But I’m doing better.”

“That’s good,” Michael agrees softly. The lights streaming through the windows behind him change color and Alex is suddenly lit up, the lights highlighting his features and softening the shuttered look in his eyes. “Fuck, Alex,” he breathes. “It’s really good to see you.”

Maybe it wasn’t the light, Michael mused as Alex’s eyes softened further. “It’s good to see you too, Michael.”

There was a new scar across Alex’s forehead and before he could stop himself, Michael was reaching out and stroking it gently. Alex’s eyes fell closed as he swayed into the touch. Michael takes a half step forward and suddenly Alex is right there. It’s nothing at all to cup his neck with his free hand, to stroke his thumb from his forehead down his cheek and cup the other side as Alex closes his eyes. Alex’s hands come up and cup his face in return and their foreheads collide gently, Alex’s breath hot on his lips. “I’ve missed you,” Alex confesses quietly, his voice hardly above a murmur. 

Michael doesn’t reply. He just closes his eyes and soaks in the feeling of Alex’s hands on him again. 

He doesn’t mean to but he leans in, chasing Alex’s breath back to his mouth. Their lips just barely graze before Alex is pushing him back. Not far, but far enough. “No,” he says softly, but sternly. He looks up at Michael and slowly drops his hands. “I’m not doing this. And I’m not letting you do this. Not to me and not to Maria.”

Maria’s name is like a bucket of cold water. They both take a step back, their hands falling away from each other as reality crashes back in.

“Michael,” Isobel’s voice is cautious. Michael turns to see her standing in the doorway, eyeing them with a careful look. “Your girlfriend’s looking for you.” 

Michael clears his throat and nods at her before turning to Alex. But the only thing he sees is the back door swinging shut.

“What the hell happened in here?” Isobel asked. “It feels...important.”

-

Michael’s just finishing up the last customer of the day when Alex pulls up. Michael doesn’t recognize the car and is about to yell when the door opens to reveal Alex. He takes one look at where Michael’s still working and nods at the Airstream in question. Michael nods and watches as he lets himself into Michael’s home. Like he belongs there.

It’s another twenty minutes before he can call it a day. And it’s not like he forgot Alex was there but at the end of a long day, it’s habit for him to change as soon as he’s finished. Which is his only explanation for tearing off his shirt as he tugged the door open with his powers. 

He’s inside before he realizes he might have made a mistake. Alex is sitting on his bed, the tiny kitchen table too busy with his research to actually sit at, and he stares at Michael, Michael’s chest more specifically, when Michael freezes in the aisle. Michael takes a moment to enjoy Alex’s attention before taking pity on both of them and grabbing another shirt and tugging it on. “What’s up?” He asks. 

Alex clears his throat and stands up slowly, a thick envelope in his hand. “Brought these,” he held them up.

Michael stares at it. “And what are they?”

“Divorce papers,” Alex explains and Michael’s heart stops for a moment. “It’s overdue, right?” He held the envelope out to Michael but Michael could only stare at it. He’d thought about getting a divorce so many times over the years, lamented not having Alex’s address to send them to, but facing it now broke his brain a little. “Michael?” Alex asks when Michael doesn’t move. Michael blinks and looks up at him.

“Just like that?”

Alex furrows his brow. “You’ve been with Maria for over four years,” he explains slowly, like Michael had somehow forgotten. “You’ve been living with her for almost two. And you bought her a ring.” Alex’s voice sounds a little strangled on that last part but Michael couldn’t bring himself to correct him for some reason. “Why wouldn’t we do this?”

“I guess I just figured we’d have a conversation?” Michael replies. It was a lie. Michael had always planned to just send them without a word. Alex had made it clear he was never coming back to Roswell and Michael hadn’t planned on ever leaving so he hadn’t thought a conversation was in their future. But now that Alex was here…

“The reunion,” Michael begins.

“What happened at the reunion cannot happen again,” Alex cuts him off. “You’re with Maria.”

Michael nodded. “And married to you.” Alex flinches, his eyes closing briefly.

“Not for much longer.” He drops the envelope on the bed. “I’ve already signed it. If you don’t want to do it now just get it to me when you’ve signed and I’ll send it to the lawyer.”

“Just like that?” Michael asks again. “We’ve had maybe a dozen conversations since we got married, Alex,” he scoffs. “Including the three we’ve had since you came back.”

“Which just goes to show we shouldn’t have done it in the first place,” Alex argues tiredly. “We both knew it was a bad idea-”

“No we didn’t,” Michael cuts him off. “ _ No _ , we didn’t.” 

“Michael,” Alex suddenly sounds weary. “We shouldn’t have started this marriage on a lie.” Michael flinches back a step, not expecting Alex to throw his own words back at him. “But we did. And now we have to deal with it.”

Michael took a few deep breaths. “I didn’t lie, Alex.” He shakes his head. “I told you the truth. I told you everything!” He hadn’t been willing to sign those papers without telling Alex about him. Alex had said he was fine with it, that it didn’t matter to him where Michael came from, but he’d left right after and they’d hardly spoken since. It wasn’t a huge leap to realize Alex had had more of an issue with it than he’d said.

“I know,” Alex agrees. “You told me the truth and I loved you all the more for it.” Michael takes a step back. He wasn’t sure if it was the lie or the ‘loved’ that hurt more. “But we were lying to ourselves when we said this could work. I never had any intention of coming back here and you are never going to leave.” It sounds like an accusation on Alex’s tongue.

“I can’t leave Max and Isobel,” he defends.

“I know,” Alex agrees easily. “I know that. And that’s why I never asked you to come with me again after you told me.” 

“You didn’t ask me because you didn’t want me to come,” Michael accuses lightly. He’d gotten over the anger years ago.

Alex stares at him. “Is that what you think? Michael, I wanted you to come with me. I  _ asked _ you, again and again but you kept saying no. When we got married, when you told me the truth and I realized why, I realized I needed to stop asking.” He shakes his head. “Asking you to leave with me was asking you to pick between me and Max and Isobel and I always knew I wasn’t going to win that one. But I always wanted you to come with me.”

“You didn’t want me to come to the hospital,” Michael can’t help but say.

Alex looks at him. “I assumed you weren’t going to come,” he replies simply. “I figured it was easier if I just told you not to instead of waiting for you to show up and you not.” 

And just like that, Michael’s angry. “Did you really think I wouldn’t come? Fuck you, Alex! I spent months worrying about you. I called your doctors and the fucking hospital trying to get updates!”

Alex stares, wide eyed. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because you told me not to come! You told me to stay away!”

“No,” Alex shakes his head. “I said you didn’t  _ need _ to come. I  _ never _ said stay away.” He laughs harshly. “I don’t think I’m capable of telling you to stay away.”

“Alex-” Michael reaches for him but Alex steps back.

“The papers are there,” he gestures at the bed. “Sign them and get them back to me and then you and Maria are free to do what you like. I won’t be in your way.” He smiles sadly. “Not that I have been.” He gestures for Michael to move. Michael hesitates before stepping back and letting Alex leave. Alex pauses on the step, the door handle in his grip, and Michael thinks he’s going to say something but he doesn’t. He pushes the door open and steps out. The crash of the door swinging shut sounds definitive.

Michael hates it.

The door is open and he’s outside before he thinks about it. “Alex!” He yells unnecessarily. Alex is a few feet away, his car door already open. “Just- wait!”

Alex closes his car door slowly and faces Michael. “What?” He asks, concerned.   
“Why did we get married?” Michael asks. 

“Michael-”

“Humor me,” Michael cuts him off. “We knew we were going in opposite directions so why’d we do it?”

Alex sighs. “Because we loved each other. Because no matter what, we're family and we wanted to make it official.” Michael nods, a sudden lump in his throat. That had been part of their vows.

“We’re family,” he repeats. “And you’re  _ here _ . I don’t-” he stops and shakes his head. “Why do I feel like you’re going to get in your car and I’m not going to see you again?”

Alex looks at the car and then back at him. He doesn’t say a word. “No,” Michael says. 

“No?” Alex raises an eyebrow.

“You don’t get to just leave again. We’re  _ family _ ,” he repeats. 

Alex takes a slow step forward and holds out an arm. Michael eyes it curiously before stepping into it. Alex’s arm curls around his shoulders immediately as he brings the other one up to hold him. Michael’s arms find their way around Alex’s waist instantly. They stand there in the late afternoon sun, not saying a word as they hold on.

“My service is up in three months,” Alex confesses. “I had to finish out my contract somewhere so I picked Roswell.” Michael tenses, unable to believe Alex had chosen to come back here. “I thought- it doesn’t matter. But in three months, I’m done. And then I’ll be gone.” Alex pressed a kiss to Michael’s neck. “Maria’s happy. You’re happy with her.” A soft kiss to his cheek. “I’ll always be your family, Michael.” He pulls away. “But I’m not going to stay. Not when there’s nothing for me here.”

“There  _ is _ ,” Michael tries to pull him back in.

Alex shakes his head. “I thought there was. But there isn’t. And I really need to accept that.” He nods at the trailer. “Sign the papers. Then we’re done. We’re already done really, this is just- fixing a mistake.”

“Don’t call it that,” Michael snaps. 

Alex closes his eyes. “Michael-”

“It was not a mistake.”

“Michael, we’ve been married for over five years and we’ve spent, what, two weeks in the same  _ town _ during that time?” His lips twist in a pale imitation of a smile. “We were fooling ourselves, really. And now it’s time to face reality.” He walks back to his car. “Don’t worry,” he adds. “I won’t tell Maria. This can be our secret and we can just- forget it ever happened.”

Michael feels each new word like another stab in his gut. “I don’t want to forget.”

“Neither do it,” Alex sighs. “But it’s for the best.” He slams the door shut before Michael can say another word. They stare at each other through the windshield for a long moment before Alex drives away.

-

“Hey stranger,” Maria calls warmly. Alex gives her an apologetic smile as he pulls over a stool to sit on. “You know. I thought one of the perks of you moving home was that I’d actually get to see you more,” she teases.

Alex’s smile drops. “I haven’t,” he argues.

“Haven’t what?” Maria grabs a beer and pops the top off before sliding it across the bar to him. 

“Moved home,” he takes the beer and presses it to his lips. “Just- a holdover, I guess.”

Maria raises an eyebrow. “Your service is almost up, right?” Alex nods. “Then what do you mean you didn’t move home.” She laughs and waves a hand at the bar. “Looks to me like you’re already here.”

“For now,” he agrees. “I’ve got a few opportunities lined up for after I’m discharged. None of them are in Roswell.” 

Maria’s heart sinks. “Why not?”

Alex looks around. “There’s nothing for me here.” Maria’s face falls. “I love you,” he tells her earnestly. “But Roswell’s not home. It hasn’t been for a long time.”

Maria leans across the bar. “So what is home?” 

Alex shrugs. “Guess I’ll have to find that out, won’t I?”

“You know,” she plasters a smile on her face. “Home’s not always a place. Sometimes it’s a person.” She reaches out to grab his chin when she realizes how still he is. The beer is frozen halfway to his mouth and she could swear he wasn’t breathing. “Alex?” He shook himself, carefully schooling his features but it was too little too late. Maria gasps at the wave of emotion coming off of him. Sadness, mostly, but also a little bit of guilt and anger, too. “Alex, talk to me.” She grabs his hand. “You never tell me anything about what’s really going on with you. Is there a guy?” He flinches. It’s small but impossible for her to miss with his hand in hers.

Alex attempts to smile at her, his lips twitching upwards before immediately turning down. “It’s nothing.”

“Alex,” she urges. “If you don’t want to talk, I won’t push, but you know I’m here, right? Whatev-  _ whoever  _ it is.” Because it was undeniably about a guy, at this point. She forces her tone to lighten. “Even if it's Michael.” Alex flinches again, a tiny jerk of his hand. Maria looks at it then up at him. Alex has his lips pursed and his eyes half closed like he’s trying not to look at her. “It’s about Michael?” She furrows her brow.

“It’s nothing,” Alex lies. He had the same tells now as he did when they were seven. Maria looks away as she replays the scene she witnessed in the parking lot.

“Did something happen between you two?”

“Maria-” Alex sighs. Maria just looks at him. She’s not going to press, she’s not sure she wants to, but she’s not going to stop him either. “It was a long time ago.” Maria lets go of his hand. “It was a small thing in high school,” he continued. “I hadn’t talked to him in years until I saw him here that night I came back.”

“That’s what you were fighting about in the parking lot,” Maria realizes out loud.

“You saw us?” Alex asks, surprised.

Maria nods. “I thought maybe he’d been one of those assholes back in high school who used to make life difficult for you.”

Alex laughs and shakes his head. “No. Michael would never do anything like that.” He takes a sip of his beer.

Maria smiles with him. It doesn’t last long. “Why were you fighting?” She asks quietly. 

Alex tenses. “I was just surprised he was your boyfriend.”

“You didn’t know he was bi?” She asks, surprised.

“No, I did. I just thought- I don’t know maybe I would’ve gotten a head’s up before he started dating my friend?” He shrugs. “It’s stupid. Like I said, we hadn’t talked in years. I just felt a little blindsided and he was a good target, I guess.”

Maria replayed that night. “The beer,” she muses. “You spilled the beer when I mentioned the ring…” Alex tenses in front of her, his shoulders hunching up near his ears. “Oh, Alex. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“Maria, no,” he covers her hand. “You did nothing wrong. You were excited and wanted to share and I wanted to hear, okay? I wanted you to share what was going on with you and your relationship. It’s not your fault it was so surprising for me to hear.” He smiles gently and Maria forces her lips to mirror his. 

“That’s now why you’re leaving again, right? Me and Michael?”

Alex was already shaking his head. “I wasn’t planning on staying. Honestly,” he urges. “They cleared me to return to light duty and told me to pick where to serve my last few months. I picked Roswell because most of my friends are deployed right now and it made the most sense. But I was never going to stick around any longer than I had to.” He winces but winks at her. “No offense. It’s just not my home anymore.”

“Well,” Maria squares her shoulders. “We’ve got, what, two months?” Alex nods. “And we will make the most of it.” She wags her finger at him. “You don’t get to be a stranger anymore, okay? I need some quality Alex time before you go disappearing on me again.”

Alex smiles. “I promise.”

“And once you get settled in somewhere, you’ll send me the address so I can come visit,” it wasn’t quite a question. And Alex didn’t quite say no. But his smile did dim and Maria knew to back off. “Now. What are you doing tomorrow night? I have the night off.”

Alex pretends to think about it. “The drive in still a thing?”

Maria beams. “Yeah,” she laughed, recalling the many times they went in high school. “Yeah, it is.”

-

Michael’s home when she walks in. It’s disconcerting and off putting because of it. This is his home, too, it shouldn’t be weird for him to be there when she walks in the door. And yet, in the last month she could probably count the number of nights he’d slept there on one hand.

“Michael?” She calls across the house as she walks towards the kitchen.

“In here!” He calls back unnecessarily.

“Hey,” she greets when she sees him, a question in her tone.

“Hey,” he smiles warmly. “I’m making dinner.”

Maria took in the mess of pots and pans. “I can see that. What’s the occasion?”

“I need an occasion to cook dinner for my girlfriend?”

Maria braces herself against the wall and resists the urge to cross her arms. “Normally, no. But you haven’t exactly been around much the last couple of weeks.”

Michael pauses before visibly forcing himself to relax. “Yeah. I know. I’m sorry.” He turns to look at her and he does look sorry. “I was hoping we could talk over dinner?”

“Sure,” Maria agrees easily. She leaves him to his cooking and goes to drop off her stuff and change out of her work clothes. As she does, her conversation with Alex from a few days earlier plays over in her mind. They hadn’t talked about it at all at the drive in and the night had been great. Maria had worried that they’d grown too far apart since high school to ever really get back to the friendship they’d had then but it was truly like old times when they got together. A loud clang from the kitchen brings Maria’s thoughts to the other thing. She’s been resisting thinking about it but she couldn’t ignore the fact that her boyfriend had failed to mention he’d used to date one of her friends. They’d even talked about exes at one point and Alex’s name had never come up. It’s unsettling to think that there might be other things he hasn’t told her.

“Dinner’s ready!” 

Maria tugs on her yoga pants and pads down the hallway. “Smells delicious,” she comments as she sits down. Michael smiles at her in thanks before turning to grab two glasses of water. “So,” she starts immediately, not even picking up her silverware. “What’s been going on?”

Michael sighs. “Can we eat first?”

Maria stares at him. “Sure.”

So they eat. And they don’t talk.

Halfway through, Michael loses patience and drops his silverware with a clatter. “Okay, fine. Let’s talk.” Maria slowly sets her fork and knife down and waits him out. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been distant and I know I owe you an explanation more than a lame apology but I  _ am _ sorry,” he leans across the table, sincerity writ across his face.

“I believe you,” Maria tells him. “But that doesn’t tell me what’s going on.” She waves a hand. “A month ago we were fine, great even, and now you’re gone more than you’re here and I barely talk to you. Yeah, I need an explanation, Michael.”

Michael takes a slow, deep breath. “It’s Alex,” he admits and Maria’s heart sinks. 

“What about Alex?”

“I wasn’t expecting him to come back to town,” Michael admits. “It threw me for a loop.”

“Alex coming back to town threw you for a loop,” Maria repeats slowly. “It threw you so much that you’ve basically been ghosting me for nearly a month?” She raises an eyebrow. “What about Alex could do that to you?”

“Alex and I-” Michael pauses. He looks like he’s struggling to get the words out so Maria takes pity on him.

“You had a thing after high school,” Maria finishes. Michael stares at her in surprise. “I talked to Alex a few days ago. He said something similar. That he wasn’t expecting to find us together when he came home and that’s what you two were fighting about in the parking lot.”

“Yeah,” Michael agrees, blinking at her in surprise. “Alex told you all that?”

Maria hums. “But what he didn’t tell me is why it’s been messing with you so much. And why you never told me about it? We’ve talked about our exes, Michael, why didn’t you mention you dated Alex?”

Michael shrugs. “I thought it would be awkward, I guess.”

“Oh? Because finding out like this after four years isn’t awkward?” Maria huffs.

“I’m sorry,” he says again.

“I don’t need you to be sorry, I need to understand,” Maria replies. “Because I still don’t. Why is Alex being here messing  _ us _ up so bad? It’s been ten years right?”

Michael stills briefly. “It was mostly the summer after high school, yeah,” he agrees. “We hooked up a few times when he visited. But until he walked into the Pony a month ago I hadn’t seen him in,” he stops to think, “five years?” Michael shrugs. “It’s just made me think what could’ve been, I guess. If he hadn’t left.” Michael picks up his fork and starts playing with it, twisting it around his fingers. 

Maria isn’t sure what to think. “Do you- do you wish he hadn’t?”

Michael stills. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. I didn’t want to be around you while I was trying to process because I wasn’t sure how to explain it. I think- I think I would’ve liked to explore what he and I could’ve been if he’d stayed. But the reality is that he didn’t. And he’s not going to. And while he’s been gone, maybe because he’s been gone, I’ve gotten to fall in love with you. And I can’t regret that, Maria. As much as I wonder what could’ve been with him, I can’t wish that he’d stayed because if he had I wouldn’t have had this, with you. And these past few years have been great.” He smiles, a little helplessly. “They’ve been everything.”

Maria wants to smile. Michael’s saying all the right words and his body language is in total agreement which isn’t always the case with him, but there’s still something off.  _ Michael’s _ off. She’s always had a tough time reading him but right now, she’s not getting anything. “Michael?” She prompts when he doesn’t continue. “What else?”

Michael looks at her a little sadly before slowly nodding. The chair scrapes along the floor as he stands up and crosses the room to where his jacket was hanging on a hook by the back door. From the inside pocket he tugs out a thick envelope and brings it back to the table. Once in his seat, he hesitates but ultimately hands it to Maria. “I want to say it’s an easy choice but it’s not. Or,” he swallows, “it is but maybe in the wrong way.”

Maria raises an eyebrow in question but Michael doesn’t answer so she pulls open the flap and slides the contents out. She only gets it about an inch before she freezes.

_ Dissolution of Marriage _ is printed in bold font across the top. Against her better instincts she pulls it a little more to reveal the names printed on it: Alexander Manes and Michael Guerin.

Maria drops the envelope.

“I don’t understand,” she pushes to her feet, the envelope falling to the ground under her chair. “What?”

Michael’s eyes stay on the envelope. “We got married five years ago. We spent two weeks together before he had to ship out for his second deployment and then I didn’t see him until a month ago,” he confesses quietly. “When he realized we were together he brought the papers over and told me he’s planning on leaving as soon as his service is done and he isn’t ever coming back.” Michael drags his eyes up to meet her. “I can’t sign them, Maria.” He shakes his head, his eyes pleading with her to understand. “I can’t. I’ve tried and I just- it’s like my hand won’t do it. I can’t let him go. I watched him walk away from me once, I don’t know how to do it again.”

“You’re married,” she forces out. “To  _ Alex _ .” She laughs a little hysterically. “In four years, you never thought to mention this?!”

“Maria-”

“No,” she cuts him off. “No,” she takes a deep breath. “I am- I can’t listen to you anymo-” she freezes as something occurs to her. Without a word to Michael she turns and disappears into their bedroom. Behind her, she hears Michael follow but she ignores him in favor of tearing through the dresser drawers.

“Maria?”

“I told him. I fucking told Alex his fucking  _ husband _ was planning to propose to me. Jesus Christ I am awful,” Maria muttered as she searched for the box she’d found a month ago.

“Maria,” Michael says again. This time she pauses and turns to him, pulled by the strange tone in his voice. With a sad look he walks past her and pulls a small box out of the closet. A few seconds later the ring box is in his hand. “You found this?” Maria nods. “But you didn’t open it.”

“Did I need to?” Maria asks. “It’s pretty self explanatory.”

Michael puts the box away and holds out the ring box. “Open it,” he directs gently.

Maria wants to protest, she doesn’t want to see the ring she will never wear, but curiosity ultimately wins out and she takes and cracks it open. She can’t stifle the gasp that slips past her lips. Inside is a piece of twisted stained glass. It’s beautiful. And undeniably fit for a man’s hand. “This isn’t for me,” she realizes.

She looks up to see Michael shaking his head. When he puts his hand out she places the rings box in it carefully. “It’s mine,” he admits, staring down at it. “I never wore it but-”

“You were looking at it,” she realizes. “I found it for the first time in your bedside table when I was looking for a packet of tissues.”

Michael nods. “It uh- it was our anniversary, if you can call it that, a few months ago. I couldn’t help myself.”

Maria covers her mouth as a broken sob comes out. “Jesus Christ, Michael. How could you never tell me any of this?”

The ring box snaps shut with a loud click. “Tell you what, exactly? That I was married to a man I hadn’t seen in years? That I wasn’t sure I’d ever see again?” Michael scoffs. “You talked to Alex way more than I ever did. And honestly, I considered sending divorce papers almost immediately after he got back from his deployment but I didn’t have his address.” He laughs mirthlessly. “I didn’t even have my own husband's  _ address _ . That’s not a marriage, Maria. It wasn’t- it wasn’t real.”

Maria looks at the box clutched tightly in his hands. “That ring is real. Those divorce papers are real,” she points out. “And if it isn’t real, if you’ve been thinking about sending him divorce papers for years, why haven’t you signed them?”

Michael shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense, I know, but I honestly just can’t do it.”

“So that’s it for us,” she wraps her arms around herself. Michael takes a step towards her but she steps out of his reach. “I’ve spent four years with a married man,” she chokes out. “Like hell am I going to do it for one second longer. Either get a divorce or we’re done.” She wipes away a tear. “I’m going to go. You can have some time to pack your stuff. I’ll be back later.” With that, she slips past him and down the hall, the door crashing loudly behind her. It’s only when she’s halfway down the street that she realizes she doesn’t have her phone or even her shoes on. She considers going back for half a second before dismissing the idea. She needs to not be around Michael right now. 

“Maria?” Maria freezes at Alex’s voice. He pulls up alongside her, window already down. “Are you okay?” He parks his car and gets out. “Where are your shoes?”

Maria tries to hold it together but- “You’re married?”

Alex freezes. “He told you?”

“Why didn’t you?!” She covers her mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I had an affair with your husband, god Alex, I’m so sorry.”

Alex pulls her into a hug and presses her face into his neck as he wraps his arms around her. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t know.”

“That doesn’t make it okay!” She cries, clutching him tightly. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he murmurs after a while. “Michael and I haven’t even seen each other in years and a divorce was long overdue. He had every right to move on and be happy.”

Maria pulls away shaking her head. “It’s not okay. None of this is okay.”

“It’s not,” he agrees. “But it’s also not your fault. You didn’t know. As soon as he signs the papers, it’ll be official but it’s been unofficial practically since the day we got married.”

“I don’t understand,” Maria confesses. “I really don’t but Alex? He said he’s not signing them. He said he can’t.”

Alex freezes. “What are you talking about?”

“He showed me the papers and said he loves me but he can’t sign them,” she wipes away more tears. “And the ring? The ring wasn’t for me. It was his. He kept pulling it out to look at it and I never actually saw the ring so I assumed it was for me but it wasn’t. It’s his. He was never planning to propose. He was-” she huffs- “he was thinking about you.”

Alex backs away, shaking his head. “You’re wrong. He and I are long over, Maria. He wasn’t thinking about me.”

Maria forces her own feelings away for a moment. “You should talk to him,” she urges. Alex is already shaking his head, his mouth open to argue, but she talks over him. “He’s your husband, Alex. Before you- just talk to him. You’ve both said you thought about getting a divorce immediately but you got married for a reason, I have to believe that.”

“Maria, why are you saying this?” Alex asks softly. “As soon as he signs, I’m out of the way and you two are good.”

“Alex, he lied to me for  _ four  _ years. Four years where I trusted him and he made me the other woman. Fuck, he made me the other woman to  _ you _ !” She shakes her head. “How can I be with someone who lies to me like that? Who carries on an affair like that for  _ years _ ?”

“But you love him,” Alex argues.

Maria pauses. “So do you.” Alex looks away. “You came back here for him, didn’t you?” She accuses softly. “You requested Roswell for your final few months because Michael’s here, right? You only started planning to leave once you found out we were together.” Alex doesn’t say anything. “Fuck that,” Maria says sharply. “Do not make me be the reason I never see you again, Alex Manes.”

Alex smiles sadly. “You’re not.”

“No?” She arches an eyebrow. “So me being with your husband isn’t what’s driving you away?”

“Uh, no,” Alex argues. “My husband being an inconsiderate ass is what is driving me away.” They smile at each other. “I can’t be here, Maria. The only thing I had left here was him and even if you can’t forgive him for this, I don’t know that there’s any possible future for us.”

Maria considers that. “You know what we need?” Alex arches an eyebrow. “Alcohol. Lots of it. Enough to make us forget all about Michael Guerin.”

Alex laughs. “Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.”

-

An hour after he gets his discharge papers, Alex gets a text from Michael. They haven’t spoken much over the last few months but Michael still hadn’t given him the divorce papers.

The text was simply an address on the edge of Roswell. Alex is already on his way home from the base so he simply turns at the next intersection and drives to the address. When he arrives, Michael’s old truck is already parked out front. The address is for a small house, one story but with a three car garage tucked around the side. It looks older but in good shape, the landscaping clearly well kept. 

On the front step sits Michael.

Alex parks and gets out gingerly, his leg sore after standing on it all day. “What is this?” He greets.

“It’s a house,” Michael replies. He jerks his head. “Come in.”

Alex follows slowly, his eyes taking in every detail he can. It’s a nice house. Inside is even better. It’s sparsely decorated, the only furniture he can see being a table and chairs and an old couch. Michael walks ahead of him into the kitchen. From there, Alex can see most of the house. It’s not big but there is a large great room and a small hallway off to the side that leads to what he presumes is a bedroom and a bathroom. Maybe two bedrooms but he doubts it. “What is this?” He asks again.

“It’s a house,” Michael replies again, but this time there’s a quirk to his lips that shows Alex how amused he is. “It’s our house.”

Alex stills. “What?”

“I bought it five years ago,” Michael confesses. “After our first phone call when you were deployed. You said you wouldn’t mind having a place to call home, that you were tired of moving every few years. So I found this place and it needed a lot of work so I bought it cheap. Been fixing it up when I can ever since.”

“Why are you showing me this now?”

Michael huffs. “When would you like me to have shown you before now?” Alex concedes the point with a small tip of his head. He looks around again with new eyes. There’s a fresh coat of paint on the walls and he can see where Michael did a few projects but overall, the work looks good. When he turns back to Michael it’s to see a familiar envelope in his hands.

“Did you sign them?” He asks.

Michael shakes his head. “Not yet.”

“Michael-”

Michael holds up a hand. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll sign them if you stay in Roswell.”

Alex shakes his head. “I’m not staying. I can’t.”

“Fine. Then I don’t sign them and I come with you.” Alex’s brain skids to a stop.

“What?”

Michael rounds the island to stand in front of Alex. “I can’t sign those, Alex. I don’t want to. As much as my head tells me I probably should, I  _ can’t _ . Because as soon as I do I lose you for good.” He shakes his head. “I can’t let that happen.”

“It’s not up to you,” Alex tells him. 

“Maybe not,” Michael concedes. “But I’m not letting you go without a fight. Not this time. Not again. I’m done watching you walk away from me.”

“Michael,” Alex starts and then stops. He doesn’t know what to say. Alex looks down at the papers. His signature stares up at him right next to an empty line. “Why now?”

“Because you’re here now,” Michael replies immediately. “It’s hard to fight for you when I didn’t even know where you were, Alex. You asked me to come with you before…”

Alex shakes his head. “I’m not asking now.”

“Why not?”

“Because you spent four of the five years we were married with Maria!” He finally yells. Alex closes his eyes and pulls himself back in control.

“And you were a saint?” Michael accuses lightly. “You were never unfaithful to me?”

Alex clenches his jaw. “That’s not the same.”

“No,” Michael agrees. “It’s not. But you could’ve found someone you wanted to be with and I don’t think you would’ve let me stop you. Not when I was here and you were there.”

“Which just goes to show you that this isn’t a good thing, Michael,” Alex tells him. “We’re not a good thing.”

“We’re only bad when we’re not together,” Michael shoots back. “But now we are. And now we can make it work.”

“You don’t know that,” Alex says wearily. “We’ve never spent more than a few months together and even that was ten years ago. We just- we don’t know that we work.”

“So let’s find out.” Michael picks up the pen. “I sign these papers. You stay in Roswell and we try to make it work. Start over and do it right.” The pen hovers over the paper but Michael looks to Alex.

“Fuck it,” Alex sighs. “Fine. But I get the house.”

Michael smiles. “Deal.” And signs the papers.


End file.
